By: Eric Tyler

The Super Bowl: A time when we all collectively gather as one and throw obscene amounts of alcohol and fried food into our bodies.  Well over 100 million Americans watch the Super Bowl each year, many of which are supposed to be working.

Last year, Cook County Jail had 350 staffers call in sick around the game.  The Super Bowl flu is a real thing, people.   Many called in sick who were working BEFORE the game because they were afraid they would get held for overtime by other people that called in sick DURING the game.  (Check out the audio below from WBBM-AM).

The day after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday.  Nothing is getting done that day — just a bunch of hungover people in cubicles waiting for 4:59pm to roll around while scrolling through Facebook.   Solution:  move the President’s Day holiday to the day after the Super Bowl.  Tah-dah!  Solutions!

I get this doesn’t help the Cook County Jail.  I’m told the prisoners are there the entire weekend requiring people to watch them.

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